Jan 18, 2011

A Cup of Jasmine Tea

The Rain outside still keep on pouring when i open my computer and start blogging. A cup of hot jasmine tea accompanying me to stir my brain in seeking for what i want the most to write. I feel like ran out the idea due to my bad mood recently. I don't know what to write. What i want to do the most is only starting to nagging, not blogging. Hahahaha.

I have a few blogs in Indonesian Language, usually i continuously post in my blogs. But today i can't find even a tiny little idea to write. Some negatives thoughts halt my brain to be more creative. Even A Cup of Jasmine Tea can't get rid this bad mood away. So i decided to write something obscure here, only to indulge where ever this emotion commands my fingers go. Who knows, this unimportant writing will unnoticed divulging what's really going on inside. 

I know what makes me drown in this bad mood. It's obviously because of my Fiancee . It's never been easy to committed in a long distance relationship. I'm here in a small isolated village in a corner of Indonesia, where in the same time he's there in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia. Sometimes i wonder how we can go this far in this elusive relationship. Distance, physically, is not solely a problem. But distance, emotionally, could be a major problem.

I definitely not willing to be devoured alive by jealousy. But for almost 3 weeks my fiancee didn't text me. I can entertain my self that his job as marketing manager, obliges him to live a torrid working days. And even if i initiative reach him first, i'm afraid he's in business trip abroad. Gosh, at least  he can text me where ever he is now. Place and distance could not be blamed, as we can count on technology to bridge over a communication.

Some people says, absence often does makes the heart grow fonder. I admit that is true. At least, from my side. Day by day, absence of him, makes my heart grow fonder. But how about his side, does he feel like i feel ? Hmmmm, Let the time eventually give me the answer of what i'm wondering about.

Nobody is flawless. Flaws in both side of us, not an anomaly thing to perceive. In contrary, we can complete each other minus. But something disturbing my consciousness, level in society, distinguish us from one another. I'm only me, who doesn't have anything to be proud of but pride its self. Will he stand until the end and compromise diversities ?

I don't know what i'm heading for. Again i have to let the time eventually proves what has not been proved. One thing that i'm sure, love will provide adequate sustainability to the heart to sufficient its self.

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